Teachers Say the Darndest Things

From the beginning, I've been very honest and straight-forward in my teaching. A kid asks a question, I answer it to the best of my ability. But after a while, answering the same stream of questions ("Teacher is married?""How old are you?" "You will have a baby?" "Where do you live?" "Why is your hair that way?") gets a little boring.

My friend and co-worker John proudly admits that he regularly lies to his students. When asked about his romantic life, he says he's been married (and subsequently divorced) three times. When a teacher is sick, John tells the students she went to China. John himself is Korean - from Korea, speaks Korean, has Korean parents and knows Korean culture - but his students have no idea. As someone new to the world of deceit, the tenacity with which John lies was impressive. And I couldn't have asked for a more appropriately gullible audience than a bunch of seven-year-olds.

The snowballing effect of that first lie is remarkable. It was a Wednesday and my students had a test the next day. "Who knows what's happening tomorrow?" I asked, hoping to elicit a reminder about the need to study. "A pizza party?!" "No..." "You're getting married?!" The sincerity of the second response was so ludicrous that I answered dramatically, "Yes, I'm getting married tomorrow but you have a test, so study!"

It seems that everyone in Korea wants to get married, so my kids were beyond thrilled when they found out about my wedding. The next day, the costume jewelry ring I wore on my middle finger was mistaken for my wedding ring. Now this was getting kind of funny! They bombarded me with questions and my answers were lame at best. We met in college in America. Yes, he's Korean. Yes, he speaks English. He's 27; His name is Peter. And could I please bring a picture?

Everyday when I walked into class, they asked to see my husband's picture. Everyday, I forgot to print a picture of the Korean celebrity I intended to pass off as "Peter." Then, I had a brilliant idea that was certain to entertain myself, as well as the demands of my students. My Photoshop skills are limited, but the image passed inspection:

Peter and me on our happy day!

My kids now know all about Peter and his job as a zoo keeper at Seoul Grand Park. The kindergartners know that both Jasmine and Aladdin were real people, but only Aladdin is still alive (age 103). And yes, the Polar Express is a real train.